


My years against your years

by Angelscythe



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Family, Forbidden Love, Goddess Tower (Fire Emblem), Love, M/M, Okay maybe there is a hint of another ship I love, Romance, Sylvix Week (Fire Emblem), i'm bad at tagging don't mind me, sylvix - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 02:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21092240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: Since their youth, they only dreamed for the moment where their feelings could burst out of their hearts and their lips.Since their youth, their heart beat the same melody. The melody of their love.Of their forbidden love...





	My years against your years

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!
> 
> Thank you for coming here!!! I'm sorry, I'm dislexic and english isn't my first language so I hope this isn't too full of fault. I'm doing my best but english grammar refuse to be learned by my stupid brain!!
> 
> Anyway, have a good reading and a good day!! Remember that you're worthy and someone is loving you! You matter and anyway you want to do (unless it's illegal) you can do it!! Failing is learning!!!  
Stay hydrated!!!!!

Ten years old, Sylvain was running in the field. Petals were flying around as he passed through the beautiful flowers of the big gardens of Gautier’s Grounds. He played often here with Felix, Dimitri and Ingrid. And Ingrid always would win against them when they played Knights.

It was probably because Felix was worry to hurt himself, Dimitri still didn’t want to hit a lady and Sylvain never cared about the fight, looking away.

Or it was something else?

Sylvain was running.

Faster than never.

His lungs were hurting him.

But he couldn’t stop.

It wasn’t fun to run that fast, without stopping.

He wanted to. But couldn’t.

However, he stumbled on a rock and fell on the floor, rolling in the mud. He hiccupped and pushed on his hands to raise. He had to hurry.

A hand came to him and lifted him.

Sylvain threw his foot on the knee and fell again, but this time landing on his feet. He moved backward and his back hit a tiny wall he didn’t have seen before.

“L… Leave me alone,” Sylvain gulped. “Please.”

“’Leave me alone’?! _You_ leave me alone!! You with your perfect Crest! How dare you…”

Sylvain was shaking in front of his brother. Almost two times bigger and taller than him, standing with anger, the rage deforming his traits. He looked like a monster.

“I’m sorry,” Sylvain cried.

“Sorry?! I had everything! I was supposed to have our Grounds, our fortune!!! Our name! Armies and fame! A beautiful lady was promised to me!”

“A… A beautiful lady…” Sylvain hiccupped. Tears were filling his chestnut eyes. “I… I don’t want it. You can have it Miklan!”

“I can! Because of your Crest!” the brother roared.

Sylvain started to cry. “I just… Please, I’ll do everything for…” He hiccupped again. “For you to…” He closed his eyes, tears rolling out anyway. “… love me,” he added in a fainted voice.

“Everything?”

Sylvain nodded, sniffing, tears and snot rolling along his face.

“Then, die,” Miklan said.

And he pushed him on the chest.

Sylvain tried to catch himself as he was swishing backward. His scream echoed in the well as he felt.

His body entered smelly water, his limbs hitting little sharp rocks and his back hit the mud before he could put his head out, spitting and crying.

“MIKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!” he called in shiver and sobs…

Twelve years old, Felix was leaving his room in the mid of the night. Outside, the wind was roaring and hitting the windows, giving a spooky-creepy impression. Holding an old bunny plush, becoming grey with the year when he used to be white, he sneaked in the room just next to his, pushing open the door.

“Glenn?” he whispered in a tiny voice.

“Hmmmm?”

The sleepy tone he could hear was clearly saying him he had woke up his big brother…

Felix bit his lower lips, closing a bit more his hands on the plush.

“Sorry to have bothered you,” he whispered before turning to the door.

He walked through the threshold when he felt arms around him. Felix out let out a scream when he was raising in the sky.

“You’re not leaving!”

Glenn pressed a big kiss on his check before stepping back, closing the door with his foot and bringing his little brother in the bed. He grabbed the covers to tug them above both of them. They couldn’t see anything and yet there still was the frightening sound of the roaring. But Felix was in his brother’s arms and he knew nothing, no one, could beat Glenn!!

“What’s happening, little Knight?”

“There are Monsters outside…” Felix whispered.

“Monsters? Outside?”

“You hear how it’s roaring?”

“Hmm… I do. I do… but what’s telling you there isn’t any Monster… inside,” he smirked. “You… look… De.li.ci.ous.”

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK!!!”

Felix tried to move away from his brother but Glenn didn’t let go on him and started to tickle him.

Screams turned into laughs.

Felix still tried to move away but this time, it was out of joy, giggling under the tickles as Glenn smiled.

The door slammed open.

“What’s happening here?”

Glenn pushed the covers, holding his little brother against his heart. At the slight gleam of a red flame, there was Rodrigue, his sword holding out.

“My apologizes, father. Felix was afraid and I tried to cheer him up.”

Rodrigue’s eyes barely brushed his youngest son, looking at his dear Glenn.

“You shouldn’t stay up that late. Don’t forget your fiancée will be there tomorrow.”

Felix felt excitation in his heart. Ingrid! He was always happy to see her! He couldn’t wait enough to show her how long his hairs were. Just like her!

And there was someone else who seemed to like long hairs…

“Will Sylvain be there too?” Felix asked.

“Maybe. Go to sleep, both of you.”

Rodrigue showed the corridor.

Felix was still so afraid. He hid his bunny under his pajama and tried to stay brave as he step out of the bed to join his own room. But, as soon as he was there, alone and afraid, he dashed to his bed and slid under the covers, hugging very tightly his bunny.

Only a few minutes after, he heard the door opening.

“It’s me,” Glenn’s voice came out.

Felix’s head appeared from the covers and he smiled when his brother joined him. He immediately snuggled against him, still holding his bunny.

“Say… You happy to marry Ingrid?”

“Yes! She’s awesome!”

“She is!” Felix closed his eyes. “Do you think I will have to marry someone father will choose for me?”

“It’s possible if a good occasion is presented to him. But with a big heart like yours, she will be happy and I’m sure you will love her too!!”

“I’m not sure…” Felix whispered.

“Why? Is there someone you would like to marry?”

Felix nodded with a blush. He moved a bit so he would be sure Glenn will the only one to hear, though his rabbit was already aware of that secret love.

“It’s Sylvain.”

“Oh…” Glenn muttered. Then he smiled. “I’ll bring your secret into the grave!” he promised.

Seventeen years old, Felix watched Ingrid, with a bit of makeup and her hairs had been brushed and tied. It was the usual hairdressing but you could feel the effort.

And as he was seeing her, Felix felt bitter.

It was the day of the Ball and everybody was so excited. He was disgusted… He was even more disgusted because Glenn would have been so happy to be here instead of him and he would have brought Ingrid in front of everyone to have the very first dance with her. It was allowed to have a cavalier outside of the Monastery as long as they had any kind of union. Ingrid and Glenn would still be fiancé if Duscur hadn’t stolen so many lives… They would have been so beautiful, enchanting the whole room. And him… he couldn’t even invite the one he loved for a dance.

It wasn’t correct…

“Felix?”

He looked up toward Ingrid who approached him, leaning him.

“I know you take every occasion to ignore me but you’re starting to make me uneasy,” she said with a big smile.

Felix didn’t reply, just looking away. Ingrid frowned and sat next to him.

“Is there something wrong?” she wondered.

“Why would you mind?” Felix groaned.

“You’re my friend, silly. Friends are here for that. You know you can tell me anything… isn’t it?” she wondered with a slight worried tone.

“I know.”

“But you don’t want to…” she guessed with a sad smile. “I won’t force you,” she swore.

“I just want to avoid this ball.”

“I feel you sooooo much!” Ingrid sighed. “Maybe we can? No one will know it.”

“Sylvain will know it. Aren’t you one of the countless girls he wants to dance with until he finds the perfect one for…”

“URGH!! Felix!” Ingrid protested. “And you know… He doesn’t really see me like a girl so I’m pretty safe.”

“Hm…”

“Maybe… we can stay together for the ball?”

“I’d rather prefer train.”

“Than being with me?” she asked with a slight sadness in her voice.

“Than going in that ball.” He turned a bit more his head and mumbled but Ingrid could hear, anyway, the “I enjoy your company.”

“So… you accept my proposition?”

“We have to endure this, we can endure this together, at least.”

“Perfect. I swear I will try not to step on your feet too often. Unless you deserve it, of course,” she added with a wink.

“Ingrid! Ingrid!”

“Sylvain?” she said, turning toward him.

He stopped in front of her and stared her and she blinked. Mercedes told her that guys will stop in front of her and it was true she received a lot of invitation today. But it could have effect on Sylvain? No way! This was witchcraft!

“Can you help me?” he asked.

She smirled.

“Not to hit on a girl, I hope.”

“I swear to the Goddess!” he said, raising his hand. “I only can count on you!” he added, joining his hands.

She sighed but smiled. “Because it’s you!” she said.

In the ball room, the music was soft, ethereal. It was calling people to dance but… Marianne was trying to run away, as much as Bernadetta; Linhardt was too busy napping, Caspar and Raphael eating next to him; Leonie didn’t care much and just moved around, talking with one or the other; Lorenz kept being pushing back by people while Claude looked this carnage; Hilda was waiting for people to ask her for a dance but no one did, maybe too intimidate by her? Flayn craved for dancing but her brother wouldn’t let her do; Mercedes and Annette were both excited and yet did nothing, eating and drinking and chatting with Ashe. Dorothea was searching Ingrid, walking around and smiling to the boys who… refused to ask her to dance because they were too afraid. Ladies too. Ignatz was drawing all of this while Lysithea hunted for the sweet all around, helped by a cheerful Petra who knew nothing about the dance art of Fódlan and didn’t know if the dance time had started. Dimitri did his best to avoid any dance, Dedue being with him, but he knew the moment will come… and Edelgard was waiting with a slight deception.

“I expected someone to invite me to dance…” she said, looking the empty area.

“Well, if you may…” Hubert replied, approaching her.

“Didn’t you promise me your first dance?” a voice came from behind.

He glanced above his shoulder at Ferdinand who smiled widely to him.

“Didn’t you say you would never invite me in public?” Hubert replied.

“Maybe,” Ferdinand replied before sipping his apple juice.

In this chaos, and after a quick thankful glance to Ferdinand, Sylvain took the occasion he craved for. He walked toward Felix who talked with Ingrid.

“They are all too coward to be the first to dance… will you give me the honor?”

Sylvain held out his hand with his most beautiful and flirty smile.

Felix glanced at Ingrid who smiled. And shook her head. She moved her chin toward Sylvain and, at this moment, Felix noticed that the hand was held out toward him.

“You want to dance with me?”

Sylvain nodded. “Why not? You can dance isn’t it?”

Felix didn’t reply but approached slightly his hand from the one waiting for him.

“Take care, he will step on your toes,” Ingrid smiled.

“So, her or me, there isn’t the slightest difference,” Felix smirked, more to her than Sylvain.

The three of them laughed.

But for Sylvain… there were a huge difference.

He led Felix in the middle of the room. Still empty. The first dance, it wasn’t something you would forget like that. Especially when it was two boys doing it. Even if they were the best friends, childhood friends. Dimitri was softly smiling as the dance started. It was good to see them like that. Swirling tenderly on the middle of the room, looking at each other eyes. Felix’s fingers were twitching on his shoulder, the others were intertwining with Sylvain’s and they were so damp, isn’t it?

Sylvain had his hand in the crook of Felix’s back, his thumb rubbing softly and his other hand linked to his. His palm was so wet… Felix will feel it, no?

He was so annoyed and yet, he kept smiling.

Smiling tenderly. It wasn’t his Don Juan’s smile but something very different. Softer… It was making Felix’s heart beat even faster.

If only he could mutter the words he dreamed to say…

“Ingrid?” Mercedes asked, in the crowd surrounding the dance area.

“Yes?”

“We can go dance too, now?”

Ingrid looked her two best friends and she couldn’t help smile tenderly.

“Yes! Oh… but can you help me for something? Not now, but soon!!”

“Of course!”

Mercedes smiled and then took Annette’s hand to go on the dance area, taking the second hand to make her swirl with a laugh. Ingrid was more joyful and she glanced at Dedue. Everybody deserved to dance, no matter what. She approached him and bowed a little in front of him then held out her hand to him.

“Dedue… can I have this dance?” she asked with a smile.

Dedue blushed and cleared his throat.

“It’s not a good idea. I…”

“You should,” Dimitri said.

“With pleasure, Lady Galatea.”

“Ingrid, please,” she said, as he took her hand.

She let him lead her in the dance area and she started to swirl with him, glancing quickly to Sylvain and Felix. They were still dancing. She was smiling…

The Ethereal Moon was high in the sky, about to disappear behind the Monastery. The night was cold. Very cold…

Most of people stayed inside because they didn’t want to catch a cold. It was funnier to be inside and to dance, chat, eat or drink. Some were already heading to their rooms, exhausted. Others tried to sneak at the Goddess Tower but the Guards take care not to let them do. But… True Love being True Love, tradition being tradition, they let them enough room to manage to go on the Goddess Tower… if they really wished it.

For most of them, it just asked a lot of work and a bit of chance…

Sylvain had left the festivities as soon as he had been able to and, though he had flaming hairs, he managed to sneak around. Well, he asked to two guards to let him pass and they accepted because they were all for this.

It happened sometimes that young married came back and said they had make vows and it was fulfilled.

It happened once that Rhea met a very old couple that had made a tender wish at the Goddess Tower…

Sylvain wasn’t very romantic but for once… yes he wished this. He was ready to go all out.

And so, he was waiting. Waiting in the cold, at the tower. He wanted to wish for everything to be alright but, in fact, he was too afraid that this wish would corrupt the one he was supposed to do with the perfect one.

At this point of the night, Felix wasn’t sad to have come in the Ball. Now, he was sadder because Sylvain had disappeared and he didn’t fit in this place… He just wanted to get back in his room and train before going to sleep.

His father would have been so proud he was participating to a Ball but, honestly, he wasn’t good for it. He wasn’t made to bow, smile and everything. He wasn’t even made to dance. He could fight and made strange choreography when he had a sword in his hand but when he had another hand in his… By the Goddess, how many time he had stepped on Sylvain’s feet. And this idiot was still smiling and holding him.

He wished he could just mutter the words he wanted to say but…

“Felix?”

Felix just stepped outside the big hall of the Monastery and arrived in the beautiful garden. He was ready to go in his room but under the stars and the Moon, he could see Annette walk toward him.

“Just warning you!! Mercedes, Ingrid and me are preparing a big party in the dormitory!! It would be very noisy soooo Ingrid told me to told it to you? I thought you would like to know it? I guess you’re going to your bedroom so I wanted to warn you!”

“It’s… nice from you. What are you expecting from me?”

“Ingrid said if we are too loud, you will be grumpy and annoy us. So… am I doing it for you?” she thought.

“Are you sure you can do a party?” Felix asked.

“See!!”

Felix groaned. “Yeah, probably,” he groaned as he pressed his hand on his forehead. “I will be back in one or two hours. I hope you will be done.”

Annette nodded.

Felix moved away and walked toward the Cathedral. Everybody was having fun so he expected none of them praying…

As he searched a calm area, he remembered that stupid legend the other teenagers and young adults always talked about. He didn’t expect anything about that but he knew there were so many guards stopping them. If he sneaked, he could have a bit of calm. A real calm that wouldn’t be disturbed…

The only problem he would have to face was the cold night but… why not let there?

Why not make a wish as he would be there?

It was ridicule. He hated those vain thoughts.

And yet…

He was walking toward the Goddess Tower…

The fresh breeze swirled around him, making dance his loosen locks of his quick hairdressing.

As he approached, he noticed a silhouette.

He wasn’t that surprised because he saw no guards… He would have been happy to try his sword or verve against them as the high instance of Monastery always talked about the heavy protection of the Tower… but no one. Just that one who certainly waited for the one they loved.

He had a disdainful smile and was about to move away when he noticed the flaming hairs.

Sylvain?

He approached a little, feeling curiosity and jealousy at once… who was he waiting? He wanted to know.

But if he approached too much and Sylvain lost his chance…

Maybe it was what he wanted? Not see someone around him, not losing a possibility… but he also wanted Sylvain to be happy. With whomever it was…

He pinched his lips and angrily turned to leave that Tower. He will find a better place to stay while the girls were doing their party…

Maybe the market place. It must be empty at this hour…

“Felix? FELIX!!”

Felix felt a hand around his wrist and he turned his head toward him.

“I didn’t expect to annoy you,” he said immediately. “I was searching a bit of quiet.”

“I see. But look at the stars? Aren’t they beautiful… Perfect time for a tryst, isn’t it?”

“You know me,” Felix replied. “I have no interest in tryst.”

“Really? Even… with a special one?” Sylvain asked.

Felix stared him.

“You know the legend. It’s a sacred place. If you exchange vows here, they always come true.”

“It’s childish.”

“Yeah. You and Ingrid always said I’m childish!”

“I say you’re an idiot,” Felix replied.

Sylvain moved his hand, his fingers brushing a lock of blueish hairs.

“I am. And, like an idiot, I’d like to share a vow with you. So you would be happy until the last day.”

“Sylvain…” Felix shook his chin slightly. “What are you saying?”

“Do you agree to share a vow with me, tonight? I wanted to see you at this tower…” Sylvain smiled. “I waited this day since we entered the Academy together.”

“You and your beautiful but vain words.”

Sylvain’s fingertips slid on Felix’s cheek.

“I believe every of the words I say to you.” He leaned slightly on him, his forehead brushing Felix’s skin. “I adore you, Felix… I can step back if you want. I can close my eyes, never think that way about you again if you want to… but if I have one chance. Just one… make a vow with me? Let me make you happy. I love you in every way.”

Felix’s heart raced in his chest and he hiccupped, unable to breath. He fought against the tears on the corner of his eyes, of the red reaching his cheeks.

He saw him flirting so often with ladies and he thought he knew everything, but he didn’t. And while he thought the ladies were idiots to react that way to Sylvain’s cute words… he was dying in love in front of them.

“I…” Felix tried to gather his courage. “I make the pledge you won’t die… Especially without me.”

“This is a sad and beautiful vow… but why _those_ words?”

Sylvain knew the promise they had shared when they were children, but it wasn’t the same kind of promise here. There was something sadder, more dangerous…

“I know I can’t…” Felix closed his eyes. “You don’t understand…” His fingers twitched and he moved them to brush Sylvain’s hand. “I dreamed to marry you. I was young and stupid, I thought it was possible. It’s not. You will be the Margrave Gautier, I will be the Duke Fraldarius… and they will expect us to find someone to marry. Someone who could bear our Crest.”

“Don’t start, Felix. Not you…” Sylvain muttered in a painful tone.

Felix closed his eyes. “Can I change my pledge and wish for you to be happy?”

“It’s my vow for you…” his friend smiled slightly. “But I don’t want to think in a life without you.”

“If only… I… I don’t think it’s possible. The only time… The only time I said my feelings for you to someone, he died a few weeks after.”

Sylvain opened his lips to ask ‘Glenn?’ but he didn’t want to hurt Felix. He had always been very sensible when it comes to his brother. He had been so close to him and when he had been tear off from him…

“I won’t die. Not now. Not if I have a slight chance to be with you.”

“It looks like extort…” Felix smirked.

“It’s not extort, you’re only my reason to live.”

Sylvain watched him. At this moment, he was both someone he couldn’t not look, the Stars and the Moon beaming his face in the most delicate and beautiful way and someone he couldn’t look… He saw the pain on his traits…

“You remember that time Miklan tried to kill me…”

“Which time?”

Sylvain let out a fake gasp. “Mock me!”

Felix opened an eye and smiled slightly. He wanted to kiss him. A million times. Forever.

If only he could…

Ha hated his father, he hated knights values, he hated having to choose what was right for the Realm… He hated not be able to just throw all of this on the other side of the barrier next to them. He could have. He could have tied his life with the only one he wanted to tie his life with… and yet.

“So… which time?”

“When he pushed me in the well.”

Felix nodded slightly. They had searched him for days… and when he had been found, Lambert himself took care of Sylvain, making sure he would be correctly healed and have enough food. That night, they had heard all their fathers, Ingrid’s father include, have an argument… And Sylvain sneaked in Felix’s room to sleep with him.

“I was only thinking about you. I wanted to see you again. That’s the only thing that helped me to keep fighting. This day, I knew I just wanted to be with you until my last breath.”

“That’s the day we swore to each other we wouldn’t die without the others…” Felix remembered.

They were so young.

“My life has no mean without you.”

“I hear you,” Felix replied. “Me neither.” He pressed his hands over Sylvain’s chest. “If it was that simple…”

Sylvain closed his eyes, his heart achingly beating in his chest.

“Would you allow me to love you, at least?”

Felix frowned.

“Every time you will catch my eyes looking at you, would you accept that I look at you with the entire love I have for you? The love you deserve. Will you accept I try to touch your hand just to feel your skin? Will you accept that I’m staying around. Just to hear your voice. Just to talk with you and feel my heart beat?”

“Can you accept that, if I push you back, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you with my whole? That you’re my first thought in the morning and my last thought in the night… That your presence bright my life and that I always look at you because I’m afraid you vanish…”

“Can I ask you just one kiss? Before we have to silent our love?”

Felix nodded slightly.

Sylvain leaned in.

This Tower was supposed to grant wish of the lover… But they both had so many wish for the others, so many wish to share…

But if the Tower should grant them even one wish… shouldn’t it be that, one day, they could love each other fully instead of stealing the kiss they craved for in the middle of the night before forgetting it forever?

It was childish and Felix refused to believe to those vain legends, and yet, as he was kissing Sylvain, he made the pledge that, one day, he could be with him. One day, Sylvain could be happy at his side… or all alone. As long as he was happy…

And Sylvain just vowed to be always there around Felix, always having the right to steal a few moments of happiness until the Fate change and they will be allowed to be together. Because his only wish was to know and see Felix happy…


End file.
